Two questions about my boyfriend? (long sorry)?

He loves the bones of you but is extremely insecure. Perhaps he also has self esteem issues. I can understand how he may have been damaged by previous relationships. it's become part of his psyche. It can take a long time of constant reurance to get it through his thick skull. Perhaps you could encourage him to seek counselling. He sounds extremely paranoid - it's alarming that he hunts out presents at his age, & the phone thing is bad news, however it sounds like he makes no secret of his activity. You have to talk & talk & talk. Perhaps you could buy him a self help book for his birthday - take a look at Amazon.